Resolutions for Those Grieving in the New Year

Adapted from Hospice of the Red River Valley, Fargo, North Dakota

This time of year is when many refresh and layout new goals; you will hear and see everything from losing weight, getting a promotion/new job, or refocusing priorities. One type of resolution that you may not see involves handling grief, something that is primarily focused inward and involves a bit of self-care. If you are grieving in the new year, we hope you will consider the following resolutions:

• I resolve to not place time limits on my grief; it will take as long as it takes.
• I resolve to acknowledge my grief as my own—that it is as individual as I am—and will take shape in its own unique way.
• I resolve to get plenty of rest—to slow down, to stop and relax or to sleep; to exercise gently; and to make healthy food choices and drink plenty of water.
• I resolve to be mindful of the need for flexibility when it comes to the expectations I have of others, that others have of me, and that I have of myself.
• I resolve to allow myself permission to not be myself for a time, to behave in ways uncharacteristic of my usual self, or to simply not care from time to time.
• I resolve to accept that others may not understand my pain, and it is probably not realistic to expect that of them.
• I resolve to express my feelings without guilt, and to not apologize for tears.
• I resolve to surround myself with others who understand and willingly just listen.
• I resolve to recognize that my acceptance of assistance and support of others allows them the blessing of giving.
• I resolve to forgive those who say or do that which feels hurtful, recognizing that unkindness is not intended.
• I resolve to extend to myself the same grace and patience I would to others, were they in my situation.
• I resolve to continue to speak my loved one’s name, tell our stories and embrace my memories.
• I resolve to find some little way each day to begin to reinvest in life, in an effort to move toward hope and a sense of purpose.