Adapted from Hospice of the Red River Valley, Fargo, North Dakota
This time of year is when many refresh and layout new goals; you will hear and see everything from losing weight, getting a promotion/new job, or refocusing priorities. One type of resolution that you may not see involves handling grief, something that is primarily focused inward and involves a bit of self-care. If you are grieving in the new year, we hope you will consider the following resolutions:
- I resolve to not place time limits on my grief; it will take as long as it takes.
- I resolve to acknowledge my grief as my own—that it is as individual as I am—and will take shape in its own unique way.
- I resolve to get plenty of rest—to slow down, to stop and relax or to sleep; to exercise gently; and to make healthy food choices and drink plenty of water.
- I resolve to be mindful of the need for flexibility when it comes to the expectations I have of others, that others have of me, and that I have of myself.
- I resolve to allow myself permission to not be myself for a time, to behave in ways uncharacteristic of my usual self, or to simply not care from time to time.
- I resolve to accept that others may not understand my pain, and it is probably not realistic to expect that of them.
- I resolve to express my feelings without guilt, and to not apologize for tears.
- I resolve to surround myself with others who understand and willingly just listen.
- I resolve to recognize that my acceptance of assistance and support of others allows them the blessing of giving.
- I resolve to forgive those who say or do that which feels hurtful, recognizing that unkindness is not intended.
- I resolve to extend to myself the same grace and patience I would to others, were they in my situation.
- I resolve to continue to speak my loved one’s name, tell our stories and embrace my memories.
- I resolve to find some little way each day to begin to reinvest in life, in an effort to move toward hope and a sense of purpose.