Helping Life Go On: Grief Services

For thousands of people each year, Hosparus Grief Counseling services and the new Grief Counseling Center help life go on. 

(Pictured on the left: Linda, her husband, Bill, and their Grandson, Hagen, at his high school graduation–just six weeks before losing him. Bill passed a few months later.; the right photo: Bonnie and her husband, Richard)

With love comes loss. And as much as we wish otherwise, loss and grieving are a fact of life – and love. But grief doesn’t have to be unbearable, or borne alone. Nowadays, there are so many options for support and healing that there’s truly something for everyone. 

In line with its mission, Hosparus is at the forefront of grief support services throughout Kentucky and Southern Indiana. In 2022 alone, Hosparus Grief Counseling helped more than 7,000 people, and now Hosparus is providing even more healing help from its brand-new Harshaw Family Grief Counseling Center, which opened in May.  

Linda E. and Bonnie H.  are two people who have found hope in grief counseling: Linda, after the unexpected loss of a grandson and then her husband within months of each other; and Bonnie, after the loss of Richard, her beloved husband and partner of 32 years. 

Both women struggled mightily with the idea of sharing their grief with others, but when they had reached points in their lives where they felt they couldn’t bear their sadness alone anymore, they decided to try Hosparus Health Grief Counseling. 

From an end comes a beginning 

Linda says “My life as I had known it came to a screeching halt.  I could not breathe. I felt despair. I functioned in a zombie-like state.  I didn’t even know where to begin, so I didn’t.  Then thankfully I was invited to utilize the counseling services provided through the Hosparus Grief Counseling Center.  I began individual counseling seven weeks after my husband passed. 

“I recently read that in processing grief, ‘you can’t go on as you always have, but you must go on as you never have.’ … There is comfort in being around others who truly understand.” – Linda

“When I arrived for my first counseling session, I sat in my car in the parking lot and wrestled with whether or not to go in. Reluctantly I decided to enter.  I was greeted with warm welcome from my female bereavement counselor ….   Thus began a journey of months of processing my grief.” 

Bonnie had similar reservations. “I did not want to do grief counseling. I was like, ‘I can do this. I can get through this.’ I’m of that generation that thinks we can buck up and do everything on our own, and, and I thought ‘I don’t need this, you know. I’ll get through this.’ … Then something just said ‘Look. You don’t have anything else to do.’ So I thought ‘Okay, I’ll try this.’” 

It still took a while, but both women noticed their feelings and outlooks changing. Linda recalls, “Never have I encountered anyone who had the capacity to listen like my counselor.  She surrounded me with compassion and empathy and allowed me to sit in my pain, express the hurt in my heart, release my anger, voice my doubts, reflect on the details of loss, reminisce on life before loss, listen to me and strategize on a path forward.  Needless to say this is not an easy process.  It feels so risky to be vulnerable,  but I can’t imagine where I would be today if I had not had someone beside me, guiding me and yes nudging me at times, providing an anchor while navigating this storm of unwelcome grief.  I am still learning how to be resilient.” 

 

Turning grieving into giving 

For Bonnie, a combination of individual counseling and group sessions at Hosparus Health of Southern Indiana helped, though it wasn’t until her

fourth group session that she began feeling comfortable enough to embrace the group process. “At first you just cry all the time. And, then you try to talk about why you’re crying, but then you cry because you can’t talk about what it is … it’s just a lot of weeping. But then I felt like I really started to get something from it, and it became productive. By the last group session, I felt that not only I could contribute, but that I could support somebody who might be coming into the process where I was … I felt like I had little things to tell them. It’s not like I was a therapist or anything, but I had something to share.” 

“I encourage anybody that comes into my orbit who’s having any loss like this to take advantage of it. It’s life changing, and it’s life-giving … it gives you your life back. Because otherwise, I really think I would just still be wallowing because it feels so easy to wallow.” – Bonnie

 

The new Hosparus Health Grief Counseling Center: 7,000 square feet of space dedicated to healing 

Located near Bowman Field on Ephraim McDowell Drive, the new Harshaw Family Grief Counseling Center is surrounded by a beautiful outdoor space and healing garden that will link it to the new Hosparus Inpatient Care Center, which is set to break ground in 2025. (This will also make emotional support easily accessible for those with loved ones in inpatient care.)  

Inside, the Grief Counseling Center is home to a range of spaces and resources for processing and working through grief from individual and group counseling to meditation and yoga. Services are available to all, whether their loved ones receive(d) Hosparus care or not. And thanks to truly generous Hosparus donors, Grief Counseling services are available on a sliding scale or with fees waived entirely. They also take most insurances at most of their Grief Counseling offices across their service area.

 

Grief as a choice: and processing grief as a sign we want to be happy again 

In “Stunned By Grief,” Judy Brizendine writes that, “Grieving is a hopeful and deliberate choice we make because we want to be happy again. When we choose to grieve, we are choosing hope, because we have decided to take the necessary steps to move through the pain (over time) and start living again.” 

Bonnie has certainly found that to be true. She says, “I will never be able to thank my counselor enough for what she did for me during that time. I really feel that had I not gone through that aftercare therapy, my life would be so much different now … and not in a positive way.  

“Doing this processing helped me so much. … That’s not to say everything’s sunshine and roses. I still have waves of sadness. I still miss him like crazy. And I hate that he’s gone. I still feel those moments of intense emptiness and loss; not just of him, but the life we had together. But now, after going through this aftercare, I have tools … when I have those feelings; when I descend into that place, I can build a ladder and get out. It’s the tools. If you use them, they will save you.” 

For thousands of grieving men, women, and children each year, Hosparus Grief Counseling opens doors to hope. We create compassionate places where it’s safe to be vulnerable; where those who’ve lost a love can begin rebuilding amid community and friendship with others on the journey. And once again, this is all thanks to generous donors who help make it possible: thank you for helping bring those grieving a loss back to life. 

 

To learn more about Hosparus Grief Counseling services in your area, visit hosparushealth.org/grief-counseling, or call us at 502.456.5451 or 888.345.8197. 

If you’d like to support Hosparus Grief Counseling or any of Hosparus’s other care circles with a donation, just visit hosparushealth.org/donate, or call 502.719.4117.